As we head into the holiday season, you may be feeling ambivalent. The holiday season can bring about positive feelings of connection, gratitude, and celebration as you embrace old traditions and form new memories.
However, this season is not the most festive for everyone. It can bring about stress and sensory overload. For neurodivergent individuals—those with autism, depression, dyslexia, anxiety, ADHD, and other neurological differences—this season can also present unique challenges.
These challenges can include sensory overload, navigating complex family dynamics, discovering the art of saying no, and maintaining balance. During these times, a neurodivergent therapist or coach may offer support for navigating your way through this.
This blog acts as a guide to exploring the connection between neurodivergence and the holidays, strategies for navigating the holidays as a neurodivergent individual, and thoughtful holiday gift ideas.
An Overview of Traditions During the Holiday Season
During the months of November and December, various holiday traditions that span across cultures and communities are celebrated. While Christmas is often the most recognized holiday, there are various other holidays that exist in other areas of the world where individuals honor this special time of the year.
Christmas: A Time of Joy and Togetherness
For many, Christmas is a cherished tradition centered around family gatherings, festive decorations, and the joy of giving. Families often come together to create a warm atmosphere filled with lights, ornaments, and baked goods to reflect the spirit of togetherness.
Kwanzaa: A Celebration of Community and Culture
Kwanzaa is a week-long celebration honoring African heritage and culture, observed from December 26 to January 1. Families often engage in meaningful discussions, tell stories, and share cultural practices while lighting candles. This celebration encourages reflection on identity and community.
Winter Solstice: Embracing Nature and Renewal
The Winter Solstice, celebrated by various cultures globally, marks the longest night of the year and the return of longer days. Many people honor this time with rituals. Celebrations might include feasting, lighting bonfires, or participating in quiet reflection. This festival often encourages mindfulness for the light and hope that is to come.
Diwali: The Festival of Lights
This vibrant festival is celebrated by millions around the world. Marking the victory of light over darkness and knowledge over ignorance, Diwali features beautiful decorations, fireworks, and the sharing of traditional sweets. Families gather to reflect on the past year and set intentions for the future.
Challenges Faced by Neurodivergent Individuals During the Holidays
The holiday season can often be portrayed as a time of joy and celebration, which can cause people to set unrealistic expectations during this time of the year. You may think that the holidays need to be perfect.
For neurodivergent humans, however, there’s an extra layer to navigate. The holiday season can be challenging due to sensory sensitivities, routine disruption, decision fatigue, and the need to live up to societal expectations for perfectionism surrounding the holidays.
Sensory Overload
You may experience heightened sensory sensitivities, especially during the holiday season.
The combination of flashing lights, loud music, and too many gatherings can lead to sensory overload, resulting in anxiety, irritability, and fatigue.
Social Expectations
The holiday season involves many established traditions that may follow a specific set of social norms. These norms, including the expectation for social interactions, can bring anxiety.
You may feel pressured to perform in ways that are expected by others and hide your neurodivergent traits, which can cause burnout if you do end up engaging in these activities that you don’t have the energy for. On the other hand, it could create feelings of isolation if you don’t feel included in the activities taking place due to unrealistic societal expectations, which can heighten rejection sensitive dysphoria.
Disruption of Routine
During the holiday season, you may be faced with things that disrupt your daily routine. This could include altered meal times, changes to personal hygiene schedules, and travel to attend holiday activities.
This change can be especially challenging for autistic individuals who tend to prefer routine. Having a consistent routine provides a sense of stability that helps manage anxiety and sensory sensitivities, so disruptions can cause autistic individuals to become overwhelmed.
Family Dynamics and Conflicts
Some neurodivergent individuals can become easily overwhelmed when conflict arises. The holiday season is a time when family gatherings can magnify existing tensions and conflicts, resulting in additional stress and sensory overload for the neurodivergent mind.
Strategies for Navigating the Holiday Season
Boundary Setting: Navigating Saying “No”
Be Compassionate with Yourself: It’s important to practice self-compassion when navigating holiday challenges. Understand that setting boundaries is a healthy practice, not a selfish one. Acknowledge that it’s okay to prioritize your needs, and give yourself grace when facing difficult emotions or guilt about saying no.
Set Time Limits: If you decide to attend gatherings, consider setting a time limit for how long you’ll stay. You can communicate this in advance, such as saying, “I’d love to join for a few hours, but I’ll need to leave early.” This allows you to engage in socialization without feeling trapped or overwhelmed, giving you a sense of control over your experience.
Understanding Your Needs: Take time to reflect on what you truly need during the holiday season. Consider factors such as your energy levels, social preferences, and sensory sensitivity. Recognizing your limits can help you articulate your boundaries more clearly to others. This awareness allows you to prioritize your well-being and engage in activities that genuinely bring you joy.
Communicating Clearly: Once you understand your boundaries, it's important to communicate them clearly with family and friends. Use "I" statements to express your feelings and needs, such as, "I feel overwhelmed with too many gatherings, so I need to take a break this year." Being honest and direct can help others understand your perspective and reduce the likelihood of misunderstandings or hurt feelings.
Establish Personal Boundaries: Empower yourself to set boundaries that focus on your energy levels and needs instead of societal expectations. You should feel free to decline invitations or choose to leave social gatherings when you become overwhelmed. Consider what your limits are and practice saying no.
Create a Sensory-Friendly Space: Designate a quiet area at family events where you can retreat to be alone. Having a safe space allows you the chance to recharge and help mitigate feelings of anxiety and sensory overload. This can support you in supporting your needs and sticking to your sensory boundaries.
Managing Eating Disorders and Dietary Considerations
The emphasis on food during the holidays can be challenging for individuals struggling with eating disorders. Here are some approaches to help maintain a balanced mindset:
Plan Ahead: If you’re attending gatherings, consider bringing a dish that you enjoy and feel comfortable eating. This not only ensures you have something safe but also allows you to share something meaningful with others.
Practice Mindful Eating Practices: Practice eating mindfully during gatherings. This could include focusing on what foods you feel comfortable consuming or taking small breaks during meals.
Addressing Food-Related Anxiety: You may have aversions to certain textures or flavors, making holiday meals particularly daunting. It’s essential to discuss dietary needs and preferences in advance so that preparation accommodates everyone. If people cannot accommodate your preferences, consider bringing your own meals.
Reach Out for Help: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, consult a mental health professional who specializes in eating disorders. They can offer tailored advice and support throughout the holiday season. Connecting with a support group can also provide you with invaluable encouragement and understanding. The first session may create anxiety, so here is a guide to therapy to support you along the way.
Navigating Family Conflict
Family gatherings can sometimes spark tension or evoke unresolved conflicts. Here’s how to navigate these conflicts and reduce the chances of sensory overload:
Mentally prepare: Anticipate potential sources of conflict and mentally prepare how to address or redirect conversations that you know might lead to disagreement. Have a few neutral topics in mind to pivot discussions if the need arises.
Focus on common interests: Shift the focus from divisive topics to shared interests or activities, such as teaching a family member a new recipe or revisiting favorite holiday traditions together. Engaging in games or collaborative projects can also steer the focus away from tensions.
Take breaks: If conversations become heated, don't hesitate to take a breather. Step outside for a moment or find a quiet space to collect your thoughts. Encourage others to do the same when needed, fostering an atmosphere of understanding.
Identify Supportive Allies: Finding allies within the family can go a long way in making gatherings more comfortable. These allies can help mediate misunderstandings that may arise as a result of different neurotypes, which can reduce the chances of you experiencing a nervous system shutdown. You may also wish to reach out to a neurodiversity-affirming therapist or coach for support with navigating these conflicts.
Coping Strategies for Conflict: Create a list of techniques that you can use when you become overwhelmed. Techniques such as deep breathing exercises, finding a quiet corner to regroup, or using grounding techniques can be beneficial. Practicing these strategies in advance can increase confidence in handling difficult interactions during family gatherings.
Addressing Seasonal Mood Changes
SAD is a type of depressive disorder that manifests when an individual experiences depressive symptoms during a specific season, with symptoms alleviating during other seasons. It affects many individuals during the winter months due to reduced sunlight and shorter days.
To alleviate some of these seasonal mood changes and feelings of depression, there are several activities you can participate in, including:
Light therapy
Regular exercise
Art and other creative outlets
Mindfulness meditation
Taking medication
Supplement use, including vitamin D
Connection and connectivity
The holidays can be a time of loneliness for some and may exacerbate symptoms of seasonal affective disorder. Emphasizing connection and community can make a significant difference. If in-person gatherings aren’t feasible, consider hosting virtual celebrations. A simple video call to catch up with friends or family can lift spirits and maintain relationships.
You can join in on our upcoming free and low-cost events for the neurodivergent community. These events address intersectional issues related to neurodivergence and provide a safe space to explore your neurodivergent identity.
Thoughtful Gift Ideas for Neurodivergent Individuals
When it comes to holiday gifting, selecting presents that are both thoughtful and considerate can be a challenge. This is especially true if you are autistic or an ADHDer. You may experience autistic inertia or ADHD paralysis as you try to pick out a gift. To make your shopping experience easier, here are some ideas:
Sensory-Friendly Gifts
Consider items designed to address sensory sensitivities, such as weighted blankets, fidget toys, or noise-canceling headphones. These gifts can provide comfort and security, helping to create a calming environment amidst the holiday chaos.
Some particular companies that I love include:
Speks: Creates tiny, colourful magnetic sensory toys that you can mold and shape.
Calm Strips: Textured sensory stickers with a special reusable adhesive.
Yogibo: Offer a comfortable sensory sit that cradles your body with zero pressure points.
Ono Rollers: Handheld rollers that channel fidgeting into mindfulness.
Supporting Your Neurodivergent Loved Ones
Regular Check-Ins
Utilizing the holiday period to reach out and check in on neurodivergent loved ones is important. Regular communication allows individuals to express their feelings, share how they’re coping, and feel validated in their experiences. It’s also an opportunity for support and encouragement.
Respecting Individual Differences
Recognizing that everyone has unique coping mechanisms and preferences is vital during the holidays. Respecting their unique ways of celebrating—or even opting out of celebrations altogether—demonstrates understanding and love. Emphasizing individual autonomy empowers neurodivergent individuals and fosters a supportive environment.
Creating Inclusive Traditions
Consider working with loved ones to create new family traditions that cater to diverse needs and preferences. This could involve planning smaller gatherings, incorporating sensory-friendly activities, or organizing quiet family nights rather than large, loud celebrations. Inclusive traditions can foster a sense of belonging and ensure everyone feels valued during holiday times.
Book a Free Consultation With Blue Sky Learning
Remember that the holiday season is not solely about perfection or obligation—it's about connection, love, and reflection. Embrace the opportunity to create an intentional experience for yourself and those you cherish.
That said, this season can present a myriad of challenges for neurodivergent individuals.
Our resources are designed to help you navigate these emotional times. Our team of academic coaches, strategists, and therapists can support you with tips and strategies for navigating this season.
You'll discover skills for navigating family conflict, boundaries, emotional dysregulation, body image, and more.
If you need support, some of our coaches and therapists have immediate availability to provide 1:1 support. Reach out for a free consultation by emailing hello@blueskylearning.ca or going to our website below.
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